


Logic and Rationale

by icantbestill29



Category: A Simple Favor (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icantbestill29/pseuds/icantbestill29
Summary: Stephanie lets logic go.Sequel to Simple Facts





	Logic and Rationale

It's almost comforting to know what she mainly feels for Emily is lust. A relief, really. It is much easier to rationalize why she lets her stay, why she tells no one she is there, why she lies to Miles when she explains that Emily will be living with them. No one needs to know, she tells him, slipping him an extra cookie after dinner or more marshmallows in his hot chocolate. She knows she's a horrible person, bribing her own son in order to keep him quiet but people talk, especially the people in her circle, and the last thing she wants to do is admit that Emily came waltzing back into her life and into her home and she let her because apparently, she thinks with her crotch.

She's providing Emily with a service. A mere exchange of goods. She allows Emily to stay, gives her an address to give to her parole officer (why she wasn't court ordered to keep away from her, Stephanie will never understand) and in turn...Emily takes care of her needs.

It's all very logical and very rational. And if there's anything Stephanie Smothers is an expert at, it's that.

Except nothing about this is logical or rational. The sex is everything she thought it would be when she'd allowed her mind (and her fingers) to go there. It's more, actually. Emily is unrelenting, making her come too many times to count and she'd become an expert at muffling her screams in the pillow so she wouldn't wake Miles. She surprises herself with her own appetite. As wary as she is, as wrong as she knows this whole thing is, there isn't enough of Emily. Her scent. Her skin. The way she moans Stephanie's name as she orgasms. The way she tastes, god, the way she tastes. The first time she buries her face in Emily, there is no trepidation, no fear of the unknown, only desire and she isn't disappointed in the least. Every inch of Emily is perfect and for the first time in her life, Stephanie allows herself to indulge without guilt because it feels good. That was it, that was the bottom line. It feels good.

Stephanie keeps Emily at arms length and to her utmost relief, Emily doesn't push the issue. There is no cuddling, no languid conversations, not much talking at all, aside from general politeness. Emily helps around the house, she picks up after herself, fields questions from Miles about Nicky (the boys don't keep in contact and though Stephanie supposes that it's for the best, considering their current living arrangement, she's still sad for her son), is cordial and good natured. Despite the incredible sex (incredible wasn't quite the right word), Stephanie can't let her guard down, not for a second. It is as much for her own sake as Miles'. She prepares herself for anything...Emily deciding to randomly hold them at knife point, to ransack the house while she is out grocery shopping and flee, for her to jump bail and just be gone, no note, no forwarding address. Emily was mentally unstable, she had proven that on more than one occasion and logically, she knows the instant she permits herself to think Emily has changed, she's going to get royally fucked. And not in a good way.

But it is on one ordinary evening, after they'd finished, Emily pulls her close and kisses her without the usual ferocity. These kisses are soft and she trails them down Stephanie's neck, her collarbone, her chest. They only stop when she feels Stephanie hesitate.

"Baby? What is it, what's wrong?" Emily's words are as soft as her kisses and it makes her chest heavy. This isn't supposed to be tender or soft. There are rules.

"I think you'd better go back to the guest room," Stephanie says in a tone that she hopes conveys a firmness but she can detect the shake in her own voice.

"Sure." Emily sits up but she doesn't move to leave. Instead, she takes Stephanie's hand, intertwines their fingers. Stephanie is frozen. "Steph," she husks, "Look at me. Please."

Don't do it. Don't. It's a trap and you know it. You know her. She's a liar. Don't you fucking dare, Smothers.

She looks at her.

Emily's eyes are the same shade of blue they were the first time they kissed. Warm, full of affection. And there is something else. Something in them that makes her breath speed up.

"You and I both know that this isn't just about sex. That's never what it's been about." She inhales. "I--- I fucked up. A lot. But I love you. I don't think I've ever really loved anyone before, except Nicky." She shakes her head. "I know there's no reason why you should believe me. And I'm not gonna give you that I've changed bullshit. Because people don't change, not really. I'm still a mess. But I'm a fucked up mess who loves you, Steph. And I don't want to hurt you again, ever. We could build a life. You and me and Miles." Her eyes scan Stephanie's face. "Please say something."

"I honestly don't know what to say." Stephanie says flatly. "You've done some horrible things and you haven't given me any reason to trust you."

"I know and I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm just asking for a chance."

If she remains cold and impassive, Stephanie tells herself, none of it will hurt. She'll be able to tell Emily that she needs to leave, that this isn't working out. She can end it right there.

"I love you too. From the second I saw you, actually." Stephanie feels the tears before she can stop them. "That doesn't mean what you did is-- this whole situation is so complicated and--"

"Shhh," Emily cups her face in her hands, sliding her thumb down across her jaw line. "We'll take all of it slow, baby, as slow as you want. Okay?"

And Emily kisses her, silences her fears and she lets her. She's tired of fighting, tired of wondering what Emily's motives are, tired of pretending she doesn't want all of Emily and not just a small piece.

It's what she's always wanted. And for the first time, in a long time, Stephanie is telling the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> I love and adore these MurderMoms! Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!!


End file.
